The gap between falling in love and loving someone.

"I love you but I'm not in love with you" is the cliché that every movie has. 

I like to think that falling in love leads you to loving someone, that the act of loving involves so much more than just a blind person thinking of some other human. To me, falling in love has to be a part of every I love you. 

The actual falling in love part, makes you excited and happy and it gives you all those quick feelings that later become a deep, strong love towards the person you're with. When you lose that, then it makes no sense to keep going, things have to change, a lot of stuff starts to happen and you need to rethink everything to go back and feel the same things or move on. And that's not happy, that's just sad and painful. 

Now, this is actually easy for the part that loves without been in love, this part can be an individual and act as if things were normal, yes that person might think at night, talk to every one to try to understand what's happening but the real difficulty is explaining all of this to the part of the relationship that is still madly in love and believes things are going just fine. 

When you tell someone that you're not in love with them, something breaks. Yes, you can adore them, and they can be the only person you think of when you imagine a relationship but how is that even fair? You are practically asking for inconditional love when you can't give it back and that can only lead to someone getting hurt. If you fall out of love, the best thing is to sit and explain what changed, without breaking anything, just explaining how time and life made you feel different. 

I don't know if the best thing is to let go and take different roads or if the idea of keep going and trying and really get into the relationship is the answer. But whatever it is, is has to be the best for both parts.

I think the most important part of a relationship is having enough confidence to tell each other what we feel, what we dream and want. If at some point you feel less love, then you should be able to tell your significant other how you feel and the reasons behind it, if not, then you were never really in love and that blind trust was an illusion.

I once read that if you can remind friends with your ex it means you were never truly in love and I guess that's true. When you break up with the person you love, all you want is to be as far as possible so you can't get anymore pain, you don't just run into some best friends relationship, it gives you pain and sadness. So yes, if one of your ex girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't wants to talk to you, then don't push it, maybe you weren't as in love as they were. Only time and space can help. 

I guess, everything love makes us do has no explanation and to love someone requires a lot of colours and the black and the white are just beginnings and ends, I'm not a love expert, I can't tell you when someone is really in love, I couldn't even tell if my own boyfriend was, and maybe I'm not the correct person to talk about this, but I know that there can never be a wrong when it comes to love.