Currently

I was gonna write a very dumb thing, well I will write a very dumb thing but right now I kinda need to type about me. Trust me, this is not me talking about how awesome I am, is more meaninfull...

Lately I've been feeling that something is wrong with me, the confidence that I always have is gone or something like that, I feel empty, alone, heartbroken and I don't know how to fix myself, it's like everything I was a month ago is just gone, all the things that I just to care about lost the importance that they had. I don't really understand what happened, one day I just woke up feeling like this.

I've come to realize that this year's Christmas could be the last one that I spend with my mom, that this New Year could be the last one that I'll start next to her, that she may never cook a family meal, and I never really valued all the little things she used to do, I never imagined that she wouldn't be here. I'm living with this constant fear of losing her, I don't even wanna go out with my friends because I feel like I have no time to waste and every second counts. She told me today that she wanted to see her brothers in case she won't have another chance and even though I hate that idea, she's right, I need to live every day thinking it may be her last and that fucking feeling is the worst thing ever, I seriously won't want anybody feeling like that, not even my worst enemy.



This was probably one of the hardest years I've ever had, I got my heart broken, I lost a very important person over some stupid fight, my mom, lots of dramas, things just keep getting worst and worst and while I'm trying to fix some things, new troubles appear and everything get so complicated. Sometimes it doesn't even makes sense, I don't know how things got this bad.