To do or not to do

One of the hardest things of being a girl is deciding who is the best match for you, it should be an easy task but the actual action of telling someone that you do in fact think he's the one can be quite scary.

As you can see, I have things going on in my head and that's why I'm trying to avoid the subject by talking about my body.

So monday is a big day, I'm not looking forward for it to arrive but I also can't avoid it. The reason why monday seems like the worst day ever to me is because I have to decide if I want someone in my life or not and  honestly feel really bad about it, I would prefer not to do it but life just won't let me. I'm not sure if you've come to realize that I do have a boyfriend and that I was having doubts about my relationship, well during winter break those questions became stronger and my head has gone crazy thinking of it.

Imagine having something good, like a candy you love, but you eat it everyday without trying any other type of sweet and one day some one offers you that candy that you've been eating for the past two months non stop and you go like "no thanks, I've have a lot of those lately" which means you have been overexposed to the candies. Well, something like that has happened to me, except I'm not refering to a candy, I'm talking about my boyfriend, yes I have boy issues.

He's not actually bad, he's just always around, like freaking always. While I'm in the shower, he's sending facebook messages, while I do my make up, he won't stop talking to me, if I go out without him knowing where to, he acts like a victim, maybe is the fact that I was so happy with my single life and having someone as a constant make me feel less in confort. He is so caring and honest and I know he'll do anything for me but  I can't be happy when he's around, the idea of him annoys me and I'm sure that makes me sound like a horrible person. And I'm pretty sure he knows.

I need advice, like right now and in order to get them I'm gonna do what I always do when I have no clue of what my life should be, go to my boy-friends and let it all out. When a boy is your best friend for four years it means that he has a lot of pattiente or that he thinks of you as a sister and thank God my best friend is like a brother. His great advice is tell him the truth as simple and clean as possible even if it hurts. I'm not so sure about that, I'd rather tell him that I'm gonna move and can't see him anymore or that my fly died and I need space but obviously that won't work. So I went to my other two best boy friends and they told me the same... apparently boys think the same and they believe honesty is the best way, even if it is cruel and awful.

So, I'm gonna do the one thing I'm not good at, I'm gonna be 100% honest. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a liar, I just act very well. I can't keep living like this, it's killing me inside and I deserve the chance to be happy and feel complete.