Is not like I've forgotten, life just gets in the way.
I had a break up that not only ended my relationship with someone, it also broke my heart, damage a part of me. It was not my boyfriend, it was not my best friend, just a simple guy that became too much in a small amount of time. The truth is I was expecting it from a long time ago, but when it actually happened I did not know what to do, how to act or even if I could still see him walking around the same city.
It all started the day we met, I won't lie and say we instantly conect, but we did saw something in each other. He and I, both of us, felt like we could be just us and that's what we did. I can honestly say that in less that a month we were friends, we would spend all of our free time together and that felt pretty cool. Dinners, meals, breakfast, movies, ice cream, we did everything.
I won't say his name and I won't blame it on him, that would be just selfish and I don't want that.The official story is that we just started to get tired of each other, but the truth is we were getting way to close, and he decided it was better to walk away. Maybe he did the best thing, he saved us the effort and the "we're just friends" talk, which broke me a little but it also made me feel relief.
This happened more than once, I would consider that as a really stupid way of having a relationship, but when it comes to him, it was never enough. He made me think I was wrong, I was acting like a child, imagining things and pretending to be more worried about the entire situation.
To make this story shorter, I'll just say a couple of things... We kiss, we huged, we ate, we talked, we even cooked together more than once but still we just weren't meant to be. Not a couple, not friends, just two weird people pretending to be fine.
The day we stopped talking, we said things, we didn't care about the other, we were stupid. He became a dream, and I didn't wanted to wake up. Sadly we never really had the time to fix what was fixable and things stayed broken. I remember watching him passing right next to me and feel the need to talk to him but my pride was stronger and I didn't say a word, that was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Finally the day arrived, the last day ... I wanted to be there, but he wasn't worth it, I decided not to see him and I don't know if I'm ok with my decision. He was important in a way that not a lot of people is, and now we can't even stand each other.
He was after all, one of my hardest goodbyes.
Sunday 23 June 2013
Saturday 9 February 2013
Lance
It took me a while to write this because I had so much to say about the topic...
I know the world hates Lance Armstrong at this moment but I love the guy, not in a creepy way or anything like that... he just gave me so much and I can't hate him for whatever mistake he made, he's only human at the end of the day.
When I say he gave me too much I mean that I started watching him on tv back in the old year 2000, I was only 9 years old, by that time he was only a one time Tour de France champion, and when I saw him on that bike wearing the yellow jersey I was the most excited kid on the planet, and the emotion kept going the rest of his career. I was a little girl back then and I grow up looking at him as a super hero. He could always amazed me, no matter the year, the team, the teammates... All I cared was him and the rush he could make me feel.
I remember waking up early on the summer, turning on the tv and changing the chanel to ESPN just to see if he was still wearing yellow and the emotion to see him trying to scape from the larger group, so exact on his moves, always focussed. I remember when he falled from his bike, how he could make the people go crazy, even when they weren't US citizens... He was my dream man.
And at this moment, I don't hate him, I don't think he's a lie or a fraud, I think he's an amazing guy that beat cancer, decided to do one of the hardest things in the world and just did it. I'm no one to judge him or what he did, but I can honestly say that I wouldn't change the days I sat on my couch to watch him for anything in the world. He really made me go crazy over a sport and I'm greatfull for that.
So yes, you can insult him, hate him, whatever but me, I'm gonna keep telling this story, because I don't care if the drank unicorn blood to be faster, I don't care if he used fairy dust to make his teammates do whatever he said... All of that is just crap when you realized that the memories are amazing and that's how I feel about Lance Armstrong.
I know the world hates Lance Armstrong at this moment but I love the guy, not in a creepy way or anything like that... he just gave me so much and I can't hate him for whatever mistake he made, he's only human at the end of the day.
When I say he gave me too much I mean that I started watching him on tv back in the old year 2000, I was only 9 years old, by that time he was only a one time Tour de France champion, and when I saw him on that bike wearing the yellow jersey I was the most excited kid on the planet, and the emotion kept going the rest of his career. I was a little girl back then and I grow up looking at him as a super hero. He could always amazed me, no matter the year, the team, the teammates... All I cared was him and the rush he could make me feel.
I remember waking up early on the summer, turning on the tv and changing the chanel to ESPN just to see if he was still wearing yellow and the emotion to see him trying to scape from the larger group, so exact on his moves, always focussed. I remember when he falled from his bike, how he could make the people go crazy, even when they weren't US citizens... He was my dream man.
And at this moment, I don't hate him, I don't think he's a lie or a fraud, I think he's an amazing guy that beat cancer, decided to do one of the hardest things in the world and just did it. I'm no one to judge him or what he did, but I can honestly say that I wouldn't change the days I sat on my couch to watch him for anything in the world. He really made me go crazy over a sport and I'm greatfull for that.
So yes, you can insult him, hate him, whatever but me, I'm gonna keep telling this story, because I don't care if the drank unicorn blood to be faster, I don't care if he used fairy dust to make his teammates do whatever he said... All of that is just crap when you realized that the memories are amazing and that's how I feel about Lance Armstrong.
Tuesday 15 January 2013
Long Life to the King
I've always wonder what it would be like to be a princess in the 18th Century, with perfect dresses and amazing jewerly, the big castle and all that stuff. I think I would like to have all that except for the no shower part.
Anyway, obviously I am not a princess or am I?
The point to that confession is this, I'm gonna write 10 things that I truly believe you should know about me, just things that make me who I am, so here we go.
1. I can't make my eye liner look the same on both of my eyes. This might sound stupid but I just can't. I do know how to do my make up and my eye shadow and all that but eye liner is a no no for me.
2. I can't go anywhere without my iPhone, I mean anywhere. And I think this is more like a cellphone thing, because before that it was my blackberry and before that it was my poor nokia so yes I'm an adict and I just take my cellphone everywhere. If I don't take it with me then I don't feel comfortable and sometimes I even go back home just to grab my phone. I know this is weird and I might need teraphy.
3. I love country music. This is a normal thing and a lot of people like country music but I'm not allowed to like country music, because everyone in my family loves rock and even I do, I love Linkin Park and Green Day and Guns 'n Roses and all those rocky bands and I also really like those new rock british band like The Hush and Lawson but country music is so cool, the lyrics and the music (I mean proper country music, not that Taylor Swift "I sing pop but tell people is country so more people wants to buy my records" stuff) is just so good, and I love it, I just do.
4. I suck at taking care of electronic things such as laptops, cellphones, computers, .... I just can't, my phone is always falling, this laptop I'm writing right now is not the first I have, not even the second one, it's my third laptop, I don't even know what I did to the last two. I might have crushed one of the screens and then everything looked green and the second one, let's just say it useless.
5. I don't understand boys. I have dated, I have a lot of male friends, I have a brother but, boys are a mistery to me.They act like real dumbass, they act like the sweetest person ever, they ignore us, they chace us, like wtf is wrong with them, just make up your fucking mind already! They cute though so I forgive them.
6.When I like a song I play it on repeat all day, like literally I wake up and start playing the song until I go to bed, sometimes I even fall asleep listening to it and the I just wake up doing the same thing. Because of this I know a lot of lyrics, like a lot.
7. I have natural beachy waves hair and I don´t like it, I loved my hair but now every girl wants to have hair like mine and I always get so many compliments about it "aww I loved your hair, it's so long, how did you do those perfect beachy waves" well, their natural, this is my real hair, I don't even do anything to it, just some hair wax or something like that and done, ready for the day. But thank you so much to all those girls out there that decided they wanted hair like mine, now everyone thinks it's fake and I don't like my hair anymore!
8. I love love stories, especially the ones that involve a past centuries, I don't fully uderstand why, I just like bellieving in them. Those stories are always full of passion and true love and I just happen to love them. Seriously I could marry King Arthur right now. But not only I like those old love stories, I love pretty much every old storie, the Borgias, King Arthur, Marie Antoinette, those caracthers are so full of live even in these days and I love their stories, the movies people has done about them and all that stuff.
9.I enjoy eating but I feel really guilty after eating too much and then I'm too lazy to get out and do some exercise so I'm gonna die fat or something like that. I'm trying to change I swear.
10. For number 10 I wanted to tell you my name but I changed my mind so I will only say that I wanna live in London. I visit the city when I was really young with my family but now I wanna go there on my own, enjoy the british life with those amazing teas and gardens. In my mind is just a perfect place.
Anyway, obviously I am not a princess or am I?
The point to that confession is this, I'm gonna write 10 things that I truly believe you should know about me, just things that make me who I am, so here we go.
1. I can't make my eye liner look the same on both of my eyes. This might sound stupid but I just can't. I do know how to do my make up and my eye shadow and all that but eye liner is a no no for me.
2. I can't go anywhere without my iPhone, I mean anywhere. And I think this is more like a cellphone thing, because before that it was my blackberry and before that it was my poor nokia so yes I'm an adict and I just take my cellphone everywhere. If I don't take it with me then I don't feel comfortable and sometimes I even go back home just to grab my phone. I know this is weird and I might need teraphy.
3. I love country music. This is a normal thing and a lot of people like country music but I'm not allowed to like country music, because everyone in my family loves rock and even I do, I love Linkin Park and Green Day and Guns 'n Roses and all those rocky bands and I also really like those new rock british band like The Hush and Lawson but country music is so cool, the lyrics and the music (I mean proper country music, not that Taylor Swift "I sing pop but tell people is country so more people wants to buy my records" stuff) is just so good, and I love it, I just do.
4. I suck at taking care of electronic things such as laptops, cellphones, computers, .... I just can't, my phone is always falling, this laptop I'm writing right now is not the first I have, not even the second one, it's my third laptop, I don't even know what I did to the last two. I might have crushed one of the screens and then everything looked green and the second one, let's just say it useless.
5. I don't understand boys. I have dated, I have a lot of male friends, I have a brother but, boys are a mistery to me.They act like real dumbass, they act like the sweetest person ever, they ignore us, they chace us, like wtf is wrong with them, just make up your fucking mind already! They cute though so I forgive them.
6.When I like a song I play it on repeat all day, like literally I wake up and start playing the song until I go to bed, sometimes I even fall asleep listening to it and the I just wake up doing the same thing. Because of this I know a lot of lyrics, like a lot.
7. I have natural beachy waves hair and I don´t like it, I loved my hair but now every girl wants to have hair like mine and I always get so many compliments about it "aww I loved your hair, it's so long, how did you do those perfect beachy waves" well, their natural, this is my real hair, I don't even do anything to it, just some hair wax or something like that and done, ready for the day. But thank you so much to all those girls out there that decided they wanted hair like mine, now everyone thinks it's fake and I don't like my hair anymore!
8. I love love stories, especially the ones that involve a past centuries, I don't fully uderstand why, I just like bellieving in them. Those stories are always full of passion and true love and I just happen to love them. Seriously I could marry King Arthur right now. But not only I like those old love stories, I love pretty much every old storie, the Borgias, King Arthur, Marie Antoinette, those caracthers are so full of live even in these days and I love their stories, the movies people has done about them and all that stuff.
9.I enjoy eating but I feel really guilty after eating too much and then I'm too lazy to get out and do some exercise so I'm gonna die fat or something like that. I'm trying to change I swear.
10. For number 10 I wanted to tell you my name but I changed my mind so I will only say that I wanna live in London. I visit the city when I was really young with my family but now I wanna go there on my own, enjoy the british life with those amazing teas and gardens. In my mind is just a perfect place.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)