The gap between falling in love and loving someone.

"I love you but I'm not in love with you" is the cliché that every movie has. 

I like to think that falling in love leads you to loving someone, that the act of loving involves so much more than just a blind person thinking of some other human. To me, falling in love has to be a part of every I love you. 

The actual falling in love part, makes you excited and happy and it gives you all those quick feelings that later become a deep, strong love towards the person you're with. When you lose that, then it makes no sense to keep going, things have to change, a lot of stuff starts to happen and you need to rethink everything to go back and feel the same things or move on. And that's not happy, that's just sad and painful. 

Now, this is actually easy for the part that loves without been in love, this part can be an individual and act as if things were normal, yes that person might think at night, talk to every one to try to understand what's happening but the real difficulty is explaining all of this to the part of the relationship that is still madly in love and believes things are going just fine. 

When you tell someone that you're not in love with them, something breaks. Yes, you can adore them, and they can be the only person you think of when you imagine a relationship but how is that even fair? You are practically asking for inconditional love when you can't give it back and that can only lead to someone getting hurt. If you fall out of love, the best thing is to sit and explain what changed, without breaking anything, just explaining how time and life made you feel different. 

I don't know if the best thing is to let go and take different roads or if the idea of keep going and trying and really get into the relationship is the answer. But whatever it is, is has to be the best for both parts.

I think the most important part of a relationship is having enough confidence to tell each other what we feel, what we dream and want. If at some point you feel less love, then you should be able to tell your significant other how you feel and the reasons behind it, if not, then you were never really in love and that blind trust was an illusion.

I once read that if you can remind friends with your ex it means you were never truly in love and I guess that's true. When you break up with the person you love, all you want is to be as far as possible so you can't get anymore pain, you don't just run into some best friends relationship, it gives you pain and sadness. So yes, if one of your ex girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't wants to talk to you, then don't push it, maybe you weren't as in love as they were. Only time and space can help. 

I guess, everything love makes us do has no explanation and to love someone requires a lot of colours and the black and the white are just beginnings and ends, I'm not a love expert, I can't tell you when someone is really in love, I couldn't even tell if my own boyfriend was, and maybe I'm not the correct person to talk about this, but I know that there can never be a wrong when it comes to love. 

That Lifelong Enigma, Re-Examined: Can Guys And Girls Be Just Friends?

No, Guys and girls can't be friends because one of them will always have feelings towards the other, society said. I believe something different.

There are quite a lot of guys that I see just as friends and that see me exactly like that, a friend. We can hug, we have road trips, we celebrate birthdays with midnight calls, we do chessy stuff to make the other one smile, we can spend the night on the same house and they would be as disgusted as my brother would be.

I know this can be seen as a weird platonic relationship, but it is the opposite of that, you just have to be clear about every step you take with the other person. Let's say a girl holds a guy's hand and flirts, that's a no for the "we are just friends" zone. Now let's imagine a guy that thinks some girl is the prettiest of the city, another big no. This is why girls get so pissed when their boyfriends have best girl friends, we see things, we know how does a girl with a crush acts, they should listen to us more often,

My friends are guys that, yes they might be cute but I can only see them as the silly idiotic guys they are.

Besides, falling for someone does not necessarily means you have contact with the person every day or almost every day. I talk to my boyfriend almost everyday, I'm madly in love with him and he doesn't feel the same way, now that I think about it maybe I should ask his ex girlfriend what does it feels to have his unconditional love, but that's out of subjetc. The point is that spending time with a guy every day, having dinner with him, going to the movies, does not mean you are in love, it just means he is a really good friend that likes spending time with you. The reality of falling in love is cruel and once you're out of it, is somehow a lie. Love makes the other person perfect and friends don't look like a perfect Ken doll.

There are a few rules that can help you keep a friend as just a friend with no feelings for you, and even as we all know that friendships are more free, having boundaries is never a bad idea.

If your friend, girl or boy, starts to feel like a romantic situation might actually happen between the two, then you must give her/him space, no text, no "let's go get a coffe" dates, no more spending the day together, just space and time, maybe not years but a month is a good start and then you can start catching up, if those feeling are still there, then you can't be just friends and one part will be hurt somehow.

If you're the one having feelings, oh baby you need to step away, better now while you're in one piece than later with tears and a heartbreak.

I can say friendship between a men and a women is possible, because I have one, and it is the best friendship I can even think of. He is about two years older, he is one of my role models, we can talk for hours, we can eat a huge entire chocolate cake together, we miss each other, we love each other, my parents adore him, my brother thinks he is the only cool guy I know and he is also as disgusting as the idea of kissing my brother. 

He, on the other hand is a ladies guy and has one night stands every 10 nights a week, and is not really into the romantic monogamy relationship like I am, obviously I should reconsider that since I have a broken heart even when I feel in love. He sees me as a confident and although he doesn't gives much details about the girls the hooks up with (Thank God, I don't need to know that stuff) he does tells me when it happen and it is always about me telling him to stop doing it. 

I love what we have, it allow us to see the other gender perspective and it is refreshing, all girls or all boys can be tiring. 

I think the most important thing about having a guy/girl friend is that they should never be some one that you use, if the other person has feelings then talk and explain, put some space and don't act like nothing happened, but don't ever take advantage of those out of context feelings. Remember that a real friend is worth so much and finding them is extremely difficult.