Deep.

It's hard to focus on something when an image is stuck in your head, mine has a million things inside but the most important one is a pair of eyes that have made me smile since the first time I saw them. There is something I don't quite get, I keep trying to understand how he can just look at me and say all those things without saying anything at all, he has that kind of look... the one that says it all just by staring.

Try to imagine a mirror that lets you see deep into your soul, a white page that writes itself when you touch it and tells you what you need to know... that's what I feel whenever he looks at me, I don't even know what is he thinking but I get this feeling, as if he could see every detail, every thought, maybe he can, maybe not...

I have issues.

There is a moment in every writer's life when the words are stuck in our heads, at least I hope I'm not the only one with this particular issue. The ideas seem to be blurry, all the letters are just floating around with no order, basically we just can't write anything with an actual path. 

Writing is what I do, what I truly love to do and when this part of my life is blocked that means something bigger is wrong. Right now my only problem is that I have no clue on what that could be, yes I am going on crazy mode. Usually when I see a white page, my head just starts to send words, everything comes out so easy, what makes me wonder if I'm writing about the correct subject. How can it be possible that I can write about not being able to write and the minute I try to type about my life, every single thought fades away?

I should just lay on the floor and close my eyes, breath and stop thinking. I believe in destiny and maybe I'm just not supposed to write about some stuff, I should keep it to myself and just never write it down. 

The one when he makes me cry.

Not literally. He only knows how to make me feel happy, the happiest ever.

I have pages and pages written inside my head, ready to come out and be read but maybe I don't want them to see the light since I'm taking forever to actually write them. The thing is everytime I try to tell a story about how amazing his eyes looked or how soft his lips were on that particular day, he does something new and a new page is ready to born, so now I just need to write for hours to get everything out.

Maybe if I start from the actual beggining things will make more sense. Now, I just need to figure it out, when did everything actually started... Was it the night he told me he wanted a kiss? was it the day I first saw him? or maybe the first time we hold hands... Well this is awkward, I don't even know. All I know is apparently nothing. (Takes a break to ask him if he knows when it all started.. shocking news: He is not sure either. Goes back to the keyboard. Goes to whatsapp to do some research... research gives kinda of an answer) So on January 25 he said he wanted a kiss just because and maybe that was the start, I can't really tell, it just happened.

Imagine having someone that makes your life easier, that makes you feel safe, happy, loved... that's him, and that's one of the reasons why I don't really mind knowing when it actually started, I'm staying with January 28, the day we had our first kiss, the most perfect first kiss I've ever had. (Takes a break again to talk about importan dates... figures out dates and goes back to typing. God I have such a weird way of writing, Focus!)  That day he somehow managed to make me feel like the world around me didn't care anymore, all of the drama, every sad storie, all of the sad songs were just gone, and all I needed to think about was him at that moment.

I don't wanna write every detail about him, that would just mean I wanna share him with the rest of the world, I wanna keep him private, as if I could call him mine. So much has happened, I have so much to say and still I've been trying to finish this page for the last four hours, why is it so hard to find the proper words to describe him and everything he does? Maybe there is no such words, maybe I need to create new ones to tell the world how wonderful he is.

Unexpected.

Unexpected means I didn't imagine to fall for him so fast.

He is everything, as simple as it sounds. He makes me feel safe and happy, like the world has no evil in it.