What my long distance relationship has taught and keeps teaching me.

My one year anniversay is in 14 days. That's all I was thinking for the past two months, marking the days and doing a countdown when in reality I was supposed to be thinking about what to do after that one year mark and I was probably supposed to talk to my boyfriend too. 

When you decide to take the risk on a long distance relationship, no matter how short that distance is, you need to have a few things in mind, and to me that was the easy part, the hard part of all this came after a couple of months away from my boyfriend, and even if we're only four hours away, it feels like an entire universe. You need to know that I was not sure about wanting a relationship like this, and, certainly, my boyfriend was not a very big fan of the idea and somehow he agreed. 

On this seven months away, I've learnt a lot of things, but is hasn't got any easier.There are things that never change and things that need work but trust me on this one, a long distance relationship is just as hard as a normal one. So, here they are, a few of those many things I've learnt.

1. If he used to ignore his phone while you were together, he will do it when you're apart. 

I don't mean never taking your calls, but maybe send a couple of them to voicemail because he is with his best girl friend, or a bunch of college friends at this bar, he will do exactly as he wants, and you will do too. You can ignore him, get mad at him, cry, and he doesn't even have to know. It can save a lot of drama but it can also create a lot more, specially if he hangs out a lot with one particular person and decides to ignore your crazy important "what are you doing text"

2. Skype, social media, and your phone are, from the start and until you are reunited, your most dear possesions.

You can't see him, you can't hug him but you can speak a hell of a lot to him, skype is a miracle made in heaven, if your boyfriend doesn't get tired of technology, and your phone is your main communication with your partner. Embrace them, learn to love them, and don't get tired of texting and calling, ever.

3. As much as you try, you have a life apart from him, and he does too. 

He can't follow on everything that's going on 500 miles away from him and you can't either, you'll tell the most important things, you'll talk but every little detail is hard to remember. He might even forget your anniversary or your birthday, but it's not on purpose. Also, you can't both be sitting all day talking on skype, so yes you both will go out with other people, just don't ignore your phone.

4. Traveling is hard. 

"we will see each other every weekend and we'll take turns, and it'll be as if we were never apart" is not happening, traveling costs money, time and effort, you might have all of those but what about college, work and all those things? finding a weekend that suits both is not as easy as it seems. 

5. Everyone will tell you it's better to breakup.

I don't tell you what to do, so just leave me alone. 

6. You both, will have a meltdown at one point and starts consider to breakup.

This feeling will pass if you talk to each other and consider all the worthy things that the other person has. Don't let it grow, don't feed it, talk about it with your significant other and it will go away.

7. I will never get easier.

You'll never stop missing him, loving him or thinking about him, The distance won't get any shorter and the time apart will only disappear if one of you moves to the place where the other lives. But the time that you get to spend with your love one, will be the best ever. 

8. It is all worth it. 

The long nights with no sleep, the waiting, the missing and all those large phone bills are worth the effort. If you can survive a long distance relationships, then there is nothing you two can't do. 

Either you decide that a long distance relationship is for you or not, never forget that when loves goes away you need to keep the door open to let him back in. 

Social media is a poison in my life.

Why do I even have a facebook anymore?

At first it was fun, photos, tweets, filters, and for what? I mean those things don't matter when you have a person next to you trying to talk about the awful thing that just happened.  

I blame Steve, Jack and Mark. Those three genious, with this new ideas totally ruined humanity. First Steve with this awesome little things to play music and avoid human contact while walking and let's not even mention the iPhone, all of them from first generation to 6 plus, then Mark with this insipidus blue platform that everyone is obssesed with and finally that stupid little bird that Jack created. 

There was so much more of human relationships back when tecnology was not as popular as it is, the hand written letters, the mix tapes and all of those details that made humans act as people and not just as a bunch of sheep following the nyan cat. Now with our lifes out there in the public eye, things become harder and comunication is not as good as it should. It's was easier for my boyfriend to talk to the girls I hate, it is way easier to see what your ex is doing and it is by far the easiest way to know about someone else's life. 

If my partner dares to like a girl's photo, especially that particular one I totally dislike, then he's gonna have a problem. If I don't accept my mom's friendship request, then I'm gonna have a big issue. Things are never easy when it comes to social media, we take it way too serious and let's be honest, we share too much.

It doesn't matter if it is Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, All of them have something that can cause your life to be a mess, sometimes just by keeping you away from your homework, your family or the real world and let's not even talk about the food photographers (me included) that look way too dumb at every restaurant they go.

I think, what I'm trying to say, in a very poorly way is that contact must be personal and real, all those post about loving someone are not the same as calling to tell "hey babe, I miss you so much and I love you", a photo on Twitter with the funny caption doesn't mean that you're able to make people laugh and certanly, social media is not the right place to have a fight.

Social media, Facebook in particular, has been terrible for my personal relationships., I've seen my best friend breaking up to his loving boyfriend because some girl posted that she had a great time with him, I get freaking upset whenever any girl (just one in particular) comments something on my boyfriend's profile picture "OMG, you're so handsome" "I miss you, I love you more than any other girl, I mean they all love you but I love you more" seriously, what type of person does that? Get over it girl. My profesor can stalk me, any one can and I won't even know. I've seen my male mates cheating and facebook makes it so much easier.  This is how, social media is a poison and human relationships should be created in person, face to face.

Put a ring on it.

For a long time I truly believed in love stories, then, on my teen years I decided that love wasn't necessary and marriage was just a paper, that finding "the one" was just an excuse for daiting. I was so wrong.

Love is a hard word to understand, it means so many things and it empties itself without a storm warning. Maybe it is natural for humans to be a little bit a afraid of it but at the same time to feel the need to find it and keep it. 

Lately I've been thinking about the actual meaning of falling in love and finding your life partner. Truth is not the nicest thing, specially when you have to agree that love is necessary just because nobody likes to be alone and lets face it, been in love feels crazy good. 

To make it easy, love, marriage, happines, kids, they are all a big package. Of curse you can choose what things you want from that box but in a dream place, you get them all and you live happy with the person you love, with your dog and three children, in a big house with amazing garden. Just like fairytales.

To be honest, even know I don't believe in that life, it seems too good, as if you cheat yourself by having all the things society told you were the answer to your sadness. 

I believe in racional decisions, falling in love is not one of those. Love comes into your life without you even realizing it is happening, and soon you become a girlfriend, a wife, a mother. Of curse you can keep your job and be an independent lady, but at the end of the day your still a woman that followed the path every other woman did and is not necessary a bad thing but it is also not the best. 

I'm starting to sound like a bitter girl with no love life, in reality I have a boyfriend and I love him, sometimes I even love him too much. He has made me change some ideas about relationships and how to deal with every detail, sometimes it feels like I need to learn again all the things I believed I knew. 

I don't think is easy for anyone to understand why, if I have a boyfriend, still don´t believe in cheesy crazy love. The answer falls itself on my own relatioship and how my boyfriend says he cares about me and he says things that could be considered cruel, and even after he apologizes for it, I don't just forget them. Yes, I do forgive him most of the times but the can´t really erase words just by repeating "I'm sorry".

In conclusion, if you find yourself deeply in love them make sure you live every second of it as if it were your last, love doesn't always lives through it all but it doesn't matter if you feel love deeply and for a short time or it you love someone for the rest of your life, the most important thing is to let yourself feel all those things.