Put a ring on it.

For a long time I truly believed in love stories, then, on my teen years I decided that love wasn't necessary and marriage was just a paper, that finding "the one" was just an excuse for daiting. I was so wrong.

Love is a hard word to understand, it means so many things and it empties itself without a storm warning. Maybe it is natural for humans to be a little bit a afraid of it but at the same time to feel the need to find it and keep it. 

Lately I've been thinking about the actual meaning of falling in love and finding your life partner. Truth is not the nicest thing, specially when you have to agree that love is necessary just because nobody likes to be alone and lets face it, been in love feels crazy good. 

To make it easy, love, marriage, happines, kids, they are all a big package. Of curse you can choose what things you want from that box but in a dream place, you get them all and you live happy with the person you love, with your dog and three children, in a big house with amazing garden. Just like fairytales.

To be honest, even know I don't believe in that life, it seems too good, as if you cheat yourself by having all the things society told you were the answer to your sadness. 

I believe in racional decisions, falling in love is not one of those. Love comes into your life without you even realizing it is happening, and soon you become a girlfriend, a wife, a mother. Of curse you can keep your job and be an independent lady, but at the end of the day your still a woman that followed the path every other woman did and is not necessary a bad thing but it is also not the best. 

I'm starting to sound like a bitter girl with no love life, in reality I have a boyfriend and I love him, sometimes I even love him too much. He has made me change some ideas about relationships and how to deal with every detail, sometimes it feels like I need to learn again all the things I believed I knew. 

I don't think is easy for anyone to understand why, if I have a boyfriend, still don´t believe in cheesy crazy love. The answer falls itself on my own relatioship and how my boyfriend says he cares about me and he says things that could be considered cruel, and even after he apologizes for it, I don't just forget them. Yes, I do forgive him most of the times but the can´t really erase words just by repeating "I'm sorry".

In conclusion, if you find yourself deeply in love them make sure you live every second of it as if it were your last, love doesn't always lives through it all but it doesn't matter if you feel love deeply and for a short time or it you love someone for the rest of your life, the most important thing is to let yourself feel all those things. 

My new Batchel in Vintage by The Cambridge Satchel Company.

Now, british do know how to make beautiful stuff.

When I first took an interest on the Cambridge Satchel Company I wasn't sure I was going to actually buy one of their bags and to be honest I was more excited about The Mini than the Batchel. Don't get me wrong, all of their products are crazy beautiful and super well done but I felt like a petit bag was more me than a strong powerful batchel.

The process of deciding to buy a batchel actually started when I saw The Designer and I thought it would be perfect as an university "backpack" but the colours where just not right for me. I mean, the design is perfect but the yellow and the purple and the green, just not my style. I needed something more classic, so I of curse went for The Classic and saw the perfect tone for me: Vintage. I was 100% sure I was going to get the model, and then I saw The Batchel, the perfect combination between classic and character, formal and casual, oh my God, perfection.

When it got to my hands I noticed the box with the bike logo which had inside a bag to protect my bag, now: you know you get a quality bag when it has its own bag. (Sorry I mumble) Everything I saw on the online store was exactly the same, I truly recommend buying there, you will get the exact product you buy.

I was surprised that my bag came in so quick, it took literally three days to get from England to my hands and I have ordered lots of things from the UK before and it never takes such a short period of time. The bad thing was the extra £25 I had to pay as taxes. So free delivery but same price for taxes, I guess it wasn't that bad after all. A lot of people say that their CSC bag took way too long to delivere (up to two and a half months), but I am not joking, mine only took 3 days and yes I ordered directly from CSC.

The packaging was simple, a cardboard box with the bicycle logo printed on it and on the inside some air filled plastic bags that were totally great to avoid the bag to move. Now the dust bag is a plus all the time and inside, the actual Batchel, without any scratch. I wanted to order the gift wrapping but changed my mind at the last moment, just thought it would get less attention if the packaging was simple.

The dust bad and the printed cardboard box won't be available unless you order directly for the store, so any other dealer won't send this.

Now, the important part. The leather is very soft, you know, for the standars of leather, the seams are made with great precision, the colour is just so beautiful, a light brown almost as milk chocolate colour. The only thing I don't really like is the strap, is just too long and even buckled to the shortest setting it looks very long, so maybe get that fixed, also the little unclosures are a bit hard to fasten/unfasten, and since I need to open my bag a lot of times, this is causing them to be a bit more soft than the rest of the leather but no big deal. 

My batchel is the 15", which is the only size, and it can fit so many things, my laptop fits perfectly along with its charger, my iphone, the charger of the iphone, my notebook, pens, snacks, keys, everything fits. There is enough space if you actually know how to use it. I'm not sure about the 14" Satchel been able to fit a laptop. If you want to get a Cambridge Satchel Company bag to use it as you go to school bag, I recommend the 15" size in any model (I'm not considering the backpack because well, it is a backpack so it should have enough space)

Now, I use my bag as a shoulder bag most of the times and the handle makes it look more sophisticated, so I do recommend spending those £11 that can make that difference. The briefcase look that it has when using the handle is amazing, everyone looks at it no matter how I use it, as a shoulder bad, a crossbody or a briefcase.

Overall, it is one of the best bags I've ever had/seen, it hasn't break which is a lot to say since my last three bags snapped as soon as I put all of my college stuff inside, it has no scratches so far and lets be honest I'm not taking care of it as I should. They might not be the more affordable bags but know that you're paying for a high quality product so nicely done it would make all of your bags look ordinary.

Choices

There is always one point in our lives, that exact moment when we need to be quite, breath in and move on. It might not be easy or not even what we want, but it's always what we need, what can make us have a better life.  We have this moments everyday, what are we having for dinner? where are we going? ... Yes all of that is necessary but is not what this is about. There has to be deeper stuff, emotional moments, radical times when everything we know blows up and we need  to decide what to do next. 

Common believe says that destiny will tell us what's the next step but, destiny is not written by the bigger power, whatever that is for every single one of us, destiny has to be created by every second we live in complete happiness or total sorrow, because at the end of the day, when we're ready to go to bed feeling warm and safe, everything that we went through is just worth it... and that is destiny. 

The different paths we might find ahead of us are just part of the life full of surprises that is expecting us, that one life we got to enjoy every little thing, feel the greatest things and cry about the saddest moments, we can decide which one we want and no matter how hard it gets, there is always hope to help us get to the next station. It's not enough to talk about it and then wait around for things to appear, even when we think we have all figured it out, paths can be tricky and part of growing up means being prepared for whatever comes, god or bad.

Our choices don't defined who we are inside, those actions are just part of the learning we are supposed to get and no school is gonna tell us how to be ready for them, I guess that's all we have at the end, the decisions we made during the short time we get to actually live. We see people suffering everyday, regreting every step they give, believing that life has some hold on them that won't let them carry on, when in reality they are not strong enough to accept how screwed their lifes are because of what they chose, because of the path they took. It's not wrong to be wrong but it is wrong to regret the things you did or said, after all no one can really tell us what to do.

Somehow life has a way to push us and take us to the side we need to walk on, people that come into our tiny personal universe, every university class we ever take, the things our parents used to tell us, those details are there for reasons that we never see clearly but at the same thing all of them take us to the next step. Imagine having one love, the biggest one of all, the one that makes you feel like you're licing a fairytale, and now imagine losing it... feeling lost and broken, staying in bed crying night after night, those feeling can either make you take bad decisions or chosing to be better, to prove the one that got away the things that he is missing out.  Those paths are the ones we should look carefully and then walk on them like every step is the last one we'll ever walk.

Thinking back, reading all those past chapters of life and feeling all those things we once felt, that's the moment when we can look back and decide if we have lived an amazing life of if we have chosed all the wrong stuff and only then we can look forward and truly decide to get even better, to fix all the wrong or to share all the good. But we can never forget that every rock we hit and every flower we smell is making us the person we are.

Murder Monday.

Everyone hates mondays, not only because most of us have to get up and do stuff, mondays are hard, they last too much, they have awful weather, let's be honest no one really wants to talk on mondays... poor monday, so young and already getting so much hate. When you think about it is not really his fault, we as humans love so much the weekend that the poor monday gets hate just because of his poorly existence.

Now, the fact that this compilation of words has taken me over a week to write tells you how much I care about this particular day. To me mondays have a weird feeling, I don't talk too much, I don't have a lot of energy and I don't even wanna move, is like the worst day of life repeating itself over and over and over again.

Mondays never bring any good, I usually mess up things, break things, don't do important things and make my significant others mad on this particular day. Basically my life is ruined every monday, even when I don't mean for it to be that way. Now I don't intend for it to be that way and this same thing can happend in any other day, it actually changes from time to time... tuesdays, fridays, I guess it depends on me and how I react to whatever life gets around me.

Me writing about mondays is not really a surprise, tomorrow it's monday and not only that, my spring break it's so over and I did not do all of the college stuff I was supossed to, yay me! Such an inspiring student. But all of my work is not actually what's got me worried, I'm seeing a pair of amazing eyes tomorrow, a pair that I miss so much, my fear about this situation is clear, isn't it? I'm not a monday girl, I react poorly to this particular day, and worst of all... I lose my ability to talk, go me!

Anyway, this poor day is not the cause of my bad mood, speechless mouth, lazy body... bla bla bla, I guess it's just me refusing to commit and do the things I'm supposed to, I've always been focus, but now every new week makes me feel more lost, I'm just kinda hoping things will work our just fine on this particular monday, they really need to.

Wow, I said monday A LOT.

So far so probably maybe good.

I ask myself if the colours around me are good enough, if the sunset is what I need to delete everything and start over but his tones don't always look good enough, they don't always feel like the end of the day, I'm quite possitive about how the sunset should be a warning about the hours I have left and still I just stare at it asking for better colours. 

Maybe that's what makes me different from everyone and maybe that's what makes me as ordinary as anyone else. People need to ask for better colours otherwise they make a monotonous and pointless life not evey body does it and I believe that's why people gets bored of their lifes and kill themselves. I'm not thinking about killing myself, at least not at this moment so I guess the sunset gave me the exact colours I was looking for.

I can't stop myself from thinking if this story will repeat itself every day, if the red, yellow and orange will always be as perfect as I saw them today and the truth is maybe not, that's why I keep asking for brighter colours with perfect shades created by the clouds and maybe a drop of rain, just one so I don't have to repaint the rainbow, after all I've never really liked those colours.

                                                            Acapulco, my one true love.